In Which the Author is Thankful

Dear Reader, 

In the last few weeks, life has become increasingly stressful. Nothing in particular has brought this on, however, the normal onslaught of life has increased overall. That precarious balance between work, school, family, friends, and spending some me-time has definitely fallen and shattered. And if I'm being really honest, there was a point when I wondered if I was burnt out. Done. Kaput. No more energy. No more inspiration. No more being driven. 

I didn't want to feel like that. I didn't want to fail tests, ignore people, and forget important items on my to do lists. But I did. But that wasn't the horrible part. The horrible part was when I felt like I didn't care anymore. I wanted to care. But all I felt was an overwhelming desire to sleep. Not even eating was appealing anymore. I was hiding from my problems in the most primitive way. 

Somehow though I managed to get through each day. Actually, I know how I got through each day. Only by the power of the Holy Spirit. Because there was ( and still is) some serious spiritual warfare going on. It hits me every semester and every semester gets worse. It's like he doesn't want to succeed. Oh, that's right. He doesn't. And he (Satan) will do anything and everything to try to thwart God's plan for me. He will do anything to throw me off my game, convince me I am a failure, and persuade my purpose in life is well, null. 

But that is a lie. An enormous lie. Because I am learning exactly what God has called me to be, what He has called me to do. And it's amazing. 

And now to my point. 

I am thankful for  chocolate and cheese and comfort food. 

I am thankful for  color changes, explosions, and clean glassware. 

I am thankful for  traffic, lost phones, and keys locked in the car.

I am thankful for  old books, bookshelves, and that I'm still learning. 

I am thankful for bad grades, bad choices, and second chances. 
 
I am thankful for cuddly and demanding cats, electric blankets, and scarves. 
 
I am thankful for  wind, fog, and rain.

I am thankful for  graduate schools that might open their doors to me. 

I am thankful for  graduate schools that will shut their doors. 

I am thankful for  babies that will be born.

I am thankful for  cars that work and who don't mind when you go a leetle too fast.

I am thankful for  music that uplifts, encourages and inspires. 

I am thankful for  opportunities to share the good news with other people. Sometimes overtly and direct. Other times more subtle.

I am thankful for wonderful professors who give you scholarships unexpectedly and who constantly encourage and challenge you even when you might feel like a fraud.

I am thankful for  being able to dance and express who I am in such a unique way.

I am thankful for  my dancers who appreciate me and who love me even when I'm cranky. 

I am thankful for  sunrises and sunsets. fall leaves and crackly branches. Real art.

I am thankful for  friends who trust me and truly enjoy being around me. 

I am thankful for  hope, love, peace and joy. these words instantly calm me.

I am thankful for  my family who has been constant and encouraging through one of the hardest semesters of my life. 

I am thankful for  the spiritual warfare going on in my life right now. Without it, I would never understand as fully God's love for me. I would never understand what it is to be desperate and thus never understand what joy is really like. I would never feel this close to God.

I am thankful for  my God, who is with me every day, who loves and accepts me, who protects and fights for me, whose love never fails, and whose mercies are new every morning.